Alone once again, Jack believes that he will never have lasting love. But a tragedy unexpectedly paves the way to more happiness than he would ever have thought possible.
No longer held prisoner by Roman Pasquale’s obsessive love, Jack struggles with being truly alone for the first time in his life. The only thing he is certain of is his desire to get away from Hollywood as soon as possible. But first, he has to make sure that his loyal driver Juan is provided for, and understands that the two of them can never be together. Then, once he finishes his latest film he will finally be free of the town of broken dreams.
Right as Jack feels that his future is looking brighter, a terrible tragedy occurs. But out of his despair a new hope is born. Jack is given a second chance—one he never would have thought possible. As Jack’s blissful new life unfolds with his lover by his side, an unexpected visitor from the past threatens his new-found peace.
It’s time for Jack to make his final choice.
Reader Advisory: This book contains BDSM, reference to drug use, and a scene of violence.
Publisher's Note: This book is best read in sequence as part of a series.
General Release Date: 7th February 2014
“I can’t do it, Juan. It’s too hard.”
“Yes you can, sir. It’ll just take some getting used to. You’ll really like it once you do.”
Jack shook his head. “I don’t think so. And, if we’re going to be together like this, I want you to call me Jack. No more ‘sir’.”
Jack didn’t have to turn his head to know that Juan’s jaw was probably tense and twitching the way it did whenever he was uncomfortable, or wanted to say something but forced himself to stay quiet. And no matter what Juan said, trying to teach Jack how to drive was pointless. He wasn’t strong enough to turn the wheel quickly, and his feet barely reached the pedals, which made it very hard to engage the clutch.
“Sir…”
Jack glared at Juan. They were on the studio lot, way in the back where there was little activity—and lots of open space. The Model T Ford Jack had purchased the day before had been delivered to him earlier, and he had asked Juan to show him how to drive it. Jack had seen the sadness on Juan’s face. Jack was sure he’d assumed the worst—that Jack no longer needed him and would be getting rid of Juan altogether.
“Juan. I mean it. I’m just Jack. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. Not Mr Stone, not sir, not Roman’s pet—just Jack.”
He wasn’t sure where the remark about Roman had come from, but now that he was back to work finishing the film with Andrè Chenard, he was also back to random thoughts and feelings springing up out of nowhere.
“Okay. Jack.”
Jack laughed. Juan said his name as if it was a dirty word. Juan scowled a little.
“I’m sorry, Juan. Geez, it’s just the way you said it. Like it was something horrible.”
Juan had a pained expression on his face. “I’ll be right back s…Jack. I need to use the washroom.”
Jack watched as Juan got out of the car and walked down the dirt road, head down, proceeding towards the buildings of the studio. He sighed.
Jesus. I’m gonna need to deal with this sooner or later.
So far, it had been later. Ever since Juan had helped Jack to escape Roman’s clutches—forfeiting his job at the same time—Jack had avoided the whole subject of Juan’s obvious infatuation with him. Part of it was Jack’s embarrassment—he was always shocked when someone took an interest in him. But the other part was he hated having to hurt anyone’s feelings. There had been too much sadness for everyone lately.
He really cared about Juan as a friend. But he didn’t have any other interest in the handsome and masculine young man. Even if he had, Jack was at the point where he wondered if he would ever again be capable of feeling love towards another man. The intensity of the relationships with both Nick and Roman had used him up inside.
Could he ask Juan to only be his friend and to not expect anything else? That was really the part that he was so selfishly worried about. If he told Juan there was no chance for them, he would probably leave. Jack couldn’t be alone right now. His nerves were erratic and unpredictable. It had been a little over a week since he and Juan had left Roman Pasquale’s estate for the last time, and Jack was having a difficult time adjusting.
The first night in the hotel in Santa Monica where they still stayed, it had all seemed as though it was some weird dream. He had felt empty. Like nothing. Jack had performed one task at a time, moving him and Juan through the motions of getting through the rest of that day, and settled in for the night. It had been a relief to have Juan by his side through it all, the same way Juan had always seemed to show up at the right time when Jack was in trouble and he needed him.
I can’t keep using him like this. It’s not fair.
The one thing he didn’t have to worry about any longer used to be the only thing that had ever concerned him. Gone were the days of wondering whether he would have enough money to pay the rent and not be thrown out on the streets, or if he would be able to eat that day. Or the next. Now he not only had enough money to take care of himself but to make sure that his devoted driver was cared for as well. Ironically, after all the years of abject poverty, money was the least of his troubles.
If only I could have done this for Nick the way I’d dreamed of.
Jack wiped the sweat from his brow. It was getting hot again, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. It was close to the beginning of May. It was about this time last year that he and Nick had prepared to come west and make their fortunes. And now here he was. No Nick. No Roman. No idea what he wanted to do next.
Once the initial shock had worn off, an insidious fear had seeped in. Jack had told himself that he was afraid of what his obsessed ex-lover might do, and what sort of dramatic campaign he would employ to get Jack to change his mind and go back. The studios still felt the need to protect Jack from any attempt by Roman to get to him when he was there. So far Roman had no idea where Jack was staying. Jack had made sure to use another name.
Nick Gerard.
But once Jack had returned to the estate to retrieve his belongings, the truth of the fear became evident. Jack was afraid of himself. It had taken every ounce of resolve that he had ever possessed to run out of the house after seeing Roman by the pool—after sharing that one last look.
I miss him.
Jack was smart enough to know that what he really missed was the world that he and Roman had created for one another whenever they were alone. A place that could be so passionate and glorious, but that had been steadily eroding away as time had passed. Especially as it had become all too clear that Roman had wanted Jack to sacrifice more and more of who he really was. That realisation was what had given Jack the strength to stand up to Roman and tell him exactly how he’d felt. And not to listen when Roman had begged him to stay.
Jack put his face in his hands. There was something else. A new problem that had been created after Jack had left. It had never occurred to him that it might be an issue.
He ached to be touched. Roman had caressed, kissed and stroked him on an almost constant basis every time they’d been alone. Jack had always craved affection—long before Roman—and once he had experienced an overwhelming supply of warmth and care, it was difficult to be cut off so abruptly.
“Sir?” There was a phrase muttered softly in Spanish. “I mean, Jack. Is everything okay?”
Jack lifted his head and laid it on the back of the seat. “Truthfully, Juan? I’m not sure. But can we forget about the driving lesson for the day? I just want to get away from here right now. Do you mind doing the driving?”
Jack turned to consider Juan. He looked ridiculously happy. No doubt because he could serve Jack again. That was one of the other reasons why he questioned if they could remain friends. Jack was determined not to have people wait on him anymore. He hated it.
Morticia Knight spends most of her nights writing about men loving men forever after.
If there happens to be some friendly bondage or floggings involved, she doesn’t begrudge her characters whatever their filthy little heart’s desire. Even though she’s been crafting her naughty tales for more years than she’d like to share – her adventures as a published author began in 2011.
Once upon a time she was the lead singer in an indie rock band that toured the West Coast and charted on U.S. college radio. She currently resides on the northern Oregon coast and when she’s not fantasizing about hot men she takes walks along the ocean and annoys the local Karaoke bar patrons.
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